Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize