Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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