the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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