I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
