Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
