dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
