Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
