I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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