I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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