he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
