No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
