youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize
