Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
sex in a hospital.. check
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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