what day is it and did you see me today?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Randomize