Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
