i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
