I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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