apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
i believe in u and ur pee
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize