he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
