i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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