real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
