My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Oh god it's open bar.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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