Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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