hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
