please come you make the beer taste better
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
