i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
