omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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