She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I intend to get homeless drunk
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Randomize