Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
