i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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