He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
