Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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