I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
