is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
