so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
