Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize