Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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