he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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