Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize