matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize