They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had to coat check the pizza.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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