I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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