well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
