eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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