I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
