i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Randomize
