Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
