he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
