with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
