Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
