So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It's rum buckets o'clock
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
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