I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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