I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
