are you still at the devil's house?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
