a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Sex in the backyard? Check.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
