I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
