the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i believe in u and ur pee
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
