Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
