She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
