Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
