You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
