Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize
