Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
