My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
